Ambivalent Death

So as the owl soars, seizing the blue moon

Whose white hail is covered by death in this gloom

The guardians of doom are in their black cloaks

Covering them from their heads to their toes

Their black is shadowed by the white of a new world

As that candle in her hand goes out of light

It was just burning, you can still see its smoke

Flying away with the wind, that only kills its flame

There is no certainty, the colours are weaved

Into each other, you can't tell despair from hope

But there is serenity in her face; a kind of surrender

As that expression on the face of “Lady of Shallot”

And as death creeps our existence,

Comforting her, it embraces her ambivalence

Two skulls in black with two hands that I can see

One tapping on her shoulder and one reaching for her withered life

They take her by the hand through the path of peace

After a life only twisted, crucified by the lack of tranquillity

And one eye that sees through this rock with holes

A new path, a new turn, another life it beholds

The darkness of the guardians devour her blues slowly

As all the colours melt in each other, marking a sea of misery

Ending with the hail of a blue moon prevailing in this scenery

With a white owl seizing the mystery the painting tells

The Ending of the "Zain" Phase (Goodbye Friend Across the Distant Land)

Without a name

Without a face

Without emotions

That I can erase

With pain and bitterness

In ever action he takes

The one who fixed me

Sunk deep in his disgrace

An unknown name

An unknown identity

Unknown features

An unsolved mystery

We stumbled upon each other

And we both repaired

The broken treasures

In one another

But here it ends

Here it's over

Here I say goodbye

Unwillingly

For his back, he's turned over

We were great friends

But here I say goodbye my friend

Across the distant land

And I know he will be waving back

Saying goodbye to the girl

He never met

Link: To My First Anonymous Friend "Zain"

Scepticism

I think

I love you

I'm lured

By that smile,

By those sweetest

Unsaid words,

Dripping 
From your magical eyes, 
Dancing

In the scepticism

Of the delusion

Of my heart,

Dreaming

In my unconscious mind.

It is a dream

Enclosed in a hex

Attached to a fang

Made of silver

Hidden in a nest

Of poisonous

Beatles

And I am not ready

To venture in

And grab

What my heart

Desires to be his

While my mind

Knows

It can’t possess.

It is a dream

Of the far beyond reach

And the hope

Of reaching what is beyond

Is a luring light

In a lion’s den

Where the lion is

Awake, waiting

For me

To sneak in.

Man Enough

This one is written for one of my friends whom I think of as a very strong woman. 

You were man enough to set your rules

You were man enough to be in control

You were man enough to squash me out of existence,

To maintain your dominating role

You were man enough to say “I am the one and only”

But deep inside, you had nothing manly

You were man enough to say “None will give you love but me”

And diminish all my hopes in finding new love

You said I can’t live without you

You said I can’t get a life

I am not sorry to surprise you

That you have known nothing of my abilities

I have a life, 

But you were man enough to try getting me out of it

I have a life, 

But you were persistent enough to break me whenever I said I existed

I have a life,

A life that scared you so much that you wanted to eradicate it

Even before it grew some roots

I am not sorry to surprise you

I have a life 
I am strong enough 
Maybe even stronger than you

And about manhood, a lesson I shall teach you

Being a man is being tender, compassionate and of assistance to your love

In this sense I am not sorry to surprise you

Perhaps I was more of a man than you were 

Virgin (A Short Story)

Disclaimer: This piece of writing might be inappropriate to some audience. It's advisable not to read it if below 18. 

He wanted her a virgin every night he approached her. He wanted her intact, not manipulated, “as a flower opening its petals for its first pollinating spring, as a bird getting ready to fly for the first time and spreading slightly its wings.” He said.  He wanted to feel the ecstasy with every time he got into her as if the first time. He wanted to feel that lust and triumphant scream in his voice when she loses her purity in his arms, each time as if it were the first time.

Every time he deflowered her she lost something; a new piece of herself. She didn’t only lose her virginity of the body but also that of the soul. He wanted every time to feel the same. It felt the same for him, maybe even the feeling escalated every night more than the one before it. For her, it was degrading. It became a routine, she knows what will happen at night when he approaches her and undresses her with those eyes of his, red as the devil’s. She knew his technique, she knew what exited him and she did it.  She knew when to move and how. She gave him life as she lost hers in every second in his arms.

Every scream of lust he took away from his breath was like peeling off her skin. It was painful and it was sinful. She felt it was a sin, a forbidden approaching even though it wasn't; they were legally wed, at least they were in our eyes. She was a flower, in that he was right. She was a flower giving in to be pollinated by the dreadful breeze of his spring. But he wasn't just pollinating her early buds, he was crushing her grains. He was eating her petals as dust would do to the skin, as worms would crawl in a buried body in the mud. That what he was, a parasite. He fed on her innocence, on her purity and love.

She never objected thinking that it was his right. It was her duty to fulfill him in his heart and body she thought. She gave in, she left him to take his pleasure in her as much as he pleased, but she lost something with every penetration. She had given in until she had nothing left to lose.

Knowing that she lost what was there to feed him, he gave her up. In return, she did the same. She decided that she won’t be there to fulfil him any longer. With distance, she regained her purity, her spiritual virginity that he used to feed on and that was tempting for him. As a parasite’s need for host, he needed her back to feed on what is left in her, whatever it was. But this time she decided to fight back to maintain what she has. She decided that she is more precious than being crushed every time in the name of love. His persistence and her determination are expandable. He will never give up until he gets what he wants, but she is now aware enough of what kind of creature he is. Only a parasite, on consuming innocence he survives!