Saturday, 22 April 2017

Never Has He Ever…

Yester-night I cried myself to sleep
He shared a song, oh that was sweet
He rarely calls, we rarely speak
I still have hopes, someday, maybe

Yester-night I looked me in the mirror
I looked aggressive, aggression is nice
“He never loved you” the reflection said
“Never did he love me” I said, I said…

The sky was black that night
No moon, no stars, no trembling winds
No glimpse of life; dead
My imagination went on nevertheless

Songs wreaking havoc in my eardrums
Dancing bodies on their graves
Tequila shots and smoking pipes
Twenties style

I got him a gift the other day,
Not much of a gift, just a gesture of love
A token of the lengths I’d go to keep my promises
But he missed the message of never keeping his

The happiness in his eyes…priceless

The following day I was assigned out of office
Not a call, no care, no bother
Silence
I found my reply

Never has he ever cared
Never has he ever called
Never has he ever thought
Never has he ever got my point

You’re every important
Very strong, I care for you
In work, I always need you
He said

This is very special
I will keep all the notes
We are friends, you’re a dear, dear friend
That is what he said

Ok then, listen up. Since we are best buddies now and we are friends and have the world in the palm of our hands and we are so much cooler now, no commitments or strings attached, there are a few things that you need to know about the friend me. I’m so naggy and whinny, and unless I’m in a relationship, I’m the axis of the universe and everything has to be related to me. Everything in life has to have something relatable to me, and if it is not, I’ll make it relatable.  I think that I’m the only one who is right. I’d try to convince you that what I said is the best opinion there is, holding it against yours of course. This is a way different person than the me that you know of because before I was in love with you but now, supposedly, I’m not.   You have to listen and you have to be there. I’m clingy, angry and irritated and you have to cope with the moods that I can go through in a minute. I laugh a lot, can’t help it, probably basic genetics. I’m often hard headed and headstrong and it takes me a long while to grasp what you’re saying, in other words, rather stupid. I’d keep calling you all the time I want whenever and wherever. I know it sounds a bit of a crispy cheesy relationship, what can I say? Anyway, having set some ground here, I’d like to ask, would you take me as a friend, or this too you’d pass?

Notes on being dumped for the fifth time in a row

Monday, 3 April 2017

Fallen Wisps of the Night

The sun rose as it does everyday
No change; no dimming or shadowing clouds
Just shinning, as it shines, always

The night was too long though
So dark, wet, cold; frightening!
Yet too short, effortlessly restless!
Consuming...

The air is thick, as it was the night before
The night wisps
Twitching uneasily
Suffocating...

I am watching them
Sadistically
Entrapped in my glass jar
As big as the breath they are struggling to inhale

Their wings are failing
Are they dying?
The light of my head lamp is strong and fierce
Like this brutal sun centring this gigantic void

Do they feel the pain?
The terror of losing their lives?
Do they share this agonizing consciousness?
…Agonizing me?

I’m scratching at my skin
As they crumble to the ground
Bloody, sticky fingers
Breaking wings of dimming lights

My head lamp is blinding their sight
As does the sun of my dried-out soul

The heat is too much to bare
The air is thickening
The movements have gone still
All!

We fall

The lights go out
Their lights
Our light
My bright light

The sun yet shinning, the lamp yet on
The heat yet rising
But not their wings and not my corpse