Fumed

Cigarette fumes

Cloaking my sight

I’m breathing in the smoke

My lungs are overfilled with nicotine

I’m craving more

I’m losing it

My head is turning over

Euphoria

Kicking in

I’m stoned

I’m bleeding

I’m hurt

I’m cutting myself

Over and over

I’m feeling triumphant

I’m losing it

My head is turning over

As my eyes get dilated

And my lungs get stroked

And my feet lose control

Slipping from over the edge

Into a rocky hole

Taking out my lousy breathes

And my desperate attempts

To feel alive

Getting Back at You

Old co-operative work with Al-Moatasem Bellah Mohamed

*********************************************

This battle is over even before it starts...

I'm the mother fucken master of the broken hearts...

I simply broke yours into tiny small shards...

What the hell have you got to say to someone with whom you fell in love?

Fix up your shit! your love to me is nothing but a big fucken mess!

I do love you, but not in the same way you do!

And every time I try to tell, you keep looking blue!

*********************************************

You think you're mister sexy

Oh God, you're such a fool!

Maybe you're so good at rhyming

But I'm also good with words

My mistake is that I'm impulsive

But I'll be saying "What The Heck!!!"

I don't care about anything

I only care for myself

I was attracted to your distortion and I forgot...

I have myself to think about!

*********************************************

I don't just think, I actually know...

Your mind is full, and rather slow!

Call me a fool, maybe, but just remember who's in command..

I'm stripping the ground from the place where you stand!

Get me a word! and I'll get you a hundred million...

Or maybe, just maybe, I'll let you choose some of my billion!

How come you tell me you think only about yourself?

While my picture is hanging out of your fucken shelf!

*********************************************

So that's how it's going to be;

Me scorning you and you scorning me

Do you think it's even manly!

Just remember, it's not my fuckin' fault

That you're so irritating that you blow my mind

I actually sometimes hate you, every once and a while

Fetch me your millions, billions, even trillions

And strip the ground from under my feet

I'll dazzle you with how much I can stay stable

Because survival in me is what my words feed on

Oh, I forgot to say, 

I have no shelves to hang any crap on!

And if with my shelf you mean my heart then you're once again a fool!

Because my heart is locked right now and the key only my mind beholds!

*********************************************

Okay! now I'm gonna abandon the rhyme just for you,

Want a battle of words? Bring it on! And prepare for an ass being whipped...

It wouldn't be a battle if it's only from my side!

Don't talk shit!! You wanted this as well, so wrong?! It's not my fucken fault, and never will

Women keep saying a lot of shit, but the hugest pile of shit is when they're talking about men.

I'm a man enough to say that I've seen more than you did!

And all you have seen so far, compared to me, is only rubbish!

Making people angry is one of my best qualities...

Lie to yourself and say you hate me! 'cause not a million "I hate you" would change a fact!

Just tell me one good Goddamn thing I don't know about myself!

*********************************************

So now my words are full of shit and all I say are lies

In all cases I got your point, it was such a nice surprise.

You wanted victory, I'm giving you victory

And your trophy myself will buy

And wrapped in satin it will be

With a note saying "congratulations on your ultimate win against me"

Now I wish you're happy, because I am!

After all, I've seen your true face and for that I'm glad.

And I'm sorry that for me you left your rhyme

It sounded good in deed, I was dazzled by the style!!!

Once Upon a Dream

I know you

I walked with you once upon a dream

You broke me

And I kept stumbling over my steps ever since

I know you

I was always captured by your murdering charm

You poked my eyes

And I followed you blindly ever since

I was attached to you by strings

A net you weaved to keep me entrapped

Yet you always pushed me away

Until its steel cut through me

You pushed me in as you pushed me out

Again and again I’m lured into your den

I’m then broken and done

As you’re gone

A year passes

I walk with you once upon a dream

I know you

It’s only my head playing its themes

I pick up the phone,

Hello…

I know you

But still you don’t know me

All comes rushing back to the surface

My wreckage is again everywhere to be found

My blood is running rivers from my salted wounds

You murder me once more

I know you

I walked with you once upon a nightmare

And every time I recover

I only have my memories to remind me of your terrors

Ring

I had a gold ring

Mine

Given to me by my mom

And her mom before her

A legacy

I had a gold ring

Mine

I never took it off

Until you came in

A tragedy

I had it on my finger

Always and forever

It glistened at night 

And shined at day

Wondrously

You came in 

Another ring came in

I thought it was mine

I took off my legacy

Another tragedy

A few months later

Your ring is not shining

Your ring is not glistening

It’s dim

You dimmed my fire

Its brightness wore off

It became so wide

It is not fitting me

It used to

But it just doesn’t anymore

You took off

You left

Your ring fell off on its own

It is not fitting any longer

Despite my trials to make it fit

Now I bought me a new ring

A ring that fits me perfectly

Yours was too wide

I just didn’t see through its tightness

My mother’s is too legendary as well

Now I bought myself a new ring

A ring that shines at day as I smile when I wake up

And cries with me at night when I am sitting alone in the balcony 

Crying over the ring that I thought would fit me perfectly 

But didn’t

Now I got me a new ring

A ring that fits my life perfectly

Wrapped around my finger

Always and forever

With a lesson carved on its inside

Never to be taken off

Even if another perfect ring arrives

I Can See the Black Within the Rainbow Colours

Co-writter: Rou'a Nafea (my Twisted Sister)

******************************************************

I can see the black within the rainbow colours
This brightness is so dark and stressful
These colourful splashes are gashes, running deep in me
My emotions are running rivers of desolation
Drowning the air bubbles that strive to survive

I can see the black within the rainbow colours
I can see all the sad parts in the lives around me
I can see death within the life you’re leading
And the pain in your luring laughter
Yet I can manage to look past all the appearances
Reaching deep within the heart and soul of the universe
I’m a superhuman, and my superpower is restoring me to life.

I can see the black within the rainbow colours
I can feel the sun rays as rain of hail breaking my head open
Crushing me over
This light is burdening me
It’s crippling me, hindering my growth
Shoving my screams down my bleeding throat
I’m choking

I can see all the black within these “happy” colours
I can see bloodshed in the red
Envy in the green 
And sickly paleness in the yellow
I can only see the death in each story
My heart isn’t beating for life,
It’s beating to reach its final destination.

I can see the black within the rainbow colours
And it’s hurting me not to see the happy polka dots
It’s hurting me not to see the smiles and triumphs
The moon shine is now a meteor shower over my devastated soul

I am glad.
I like my superpower.
It gives me perspective in all this tragedy
It helps me thrive and survive in the face of death;
It tramples death.

When you embrace the pain, hurt, tragedy and desolation,
You get a chance at viewing them as adventures.
Death is not the end. Tragedy is not the beginning
The final destination isn’t the final destiny
And destiny is not all there is…

If I can see black in rainbow colours
I can freaking see whatever I want, wherever I want
I make of my life what I want and wish for
This is my superpower!
I am uncontrollable, unstoppable
I am GLORIOUS in my ruthlessness…

I can see the euphoric, triumphant black within all of these depressing colours
It’s the only consolation there is for me
I can see the light I would ever dream of
In a sea of nightmares, solacing my transcendental journey

You can see the light of your dreams
You can see the light at the end of your dismal tunnel
You can see the lantern I am holding out to you
I am with you in the dismal tunnel
And I am waiting on you in the light on the other side…
We have adventures to seek and lives to discover

Mirror

You were right here all along

You’re my mirror, staring back at me

Turning me into stone by your crying eyes

With that saline of yours falling off like acid drops

Burning my heart, as it is burning yours

Those tears tearing me up

Cutting deep through

Those love bullets piercing my skin

Those passion needles settling in

This potion frying up my veins

As your words cut deep through

You cut me deep inside only to sew me back up

And still when I look in the mirror

I see you were here all along

You’re my mirror, staring back at me

And that pain of yours is only easy

It is only one life to live and one love to give

And one chance to make all wrong things right

So when I’m here, backing up your heart

Love me like you do and touch me like you do

What are you waiting for?

Be my mirror, as you were always here all along

Staring back at me, never let me go

Featuring lines from songs

1. Mirrors, Justin Timberlake
2. No Way Out, Rie Sinclair

3. Only One, Alex Band

4. Love me Like you do, Ellie Goulding

No Other Girl

I am the only girl there is

Can you hear me, I am the only one

There is no other girl

There is no other hug

There is no other passion but me

Can you hear me,

It is only me!

I am the only one

Loved, exploited,

Damaged

He called me yesterday

When he was about to die

When he was breathless

And he said he loved me

He said it

Only to me

There is no other girl

Loving him as the fish love the salty water of the ocean

There is no other girl

Missing him as the sun misses the moon light shining

There is no other girl

Taking him away from the only love he has

There is no other girl whom he told

“I am in love with you, keep me enclosed in your heart, and when I am away just remember my voice cutting through you deep, and crushing your soul saying that you’re the only one for me, you’re the only woman I love”

There is no other girl

But a phantom seeping into our lives

Like smoke

Blurring our vision

There is no other girl

There is only one

There is only me

The love I will never be