Disclaimer:
The poem might be inappropriate to some audience. It's advisable not to read it if below 18. Thanks and enjoy the poem.
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The poem might be inappropriate to some audience. It's advisable not to read it if below 18. Thanks and enjoy the poem.
***************************************
Touch me;
embrace me, like you do, in your hands
Spin me,
make me see the world and in your arms let me land
That heat, that warmth
Only when you hold me close
Let me feel your heart beats
When we're dancing fast and slow
Let me feel your breathes, your infatuation
Let me feel your lungs rising and falling
Let me see your eyes as they glisten
When we're taking over the dark dancing floor
And that passion in you burns
As it's burning in me too
Let us create our own world
By the intensity of our moves
Let us reach up to the sky,
Forgetting about the eyes
As they flow us as we sway
It only needs two people to dance...
So, let us...
TANGOOOO
Aywa ba2a!
ReplyDeleteNothing inappropriate there. Definitely a change from your dark writing - which I like - but change is also good.
I enjoyed it. Of course no promises, but when the new term starts, send this piece along with your other three. Nariman will be pleased - as have I.
Just a teeny-tiny comment (I'm mean, I know ma3lesh):
In "Spin me;
make me see the world, then in your arms I land"
I'd rather it were something like:
"Spin me, (comma)
make me see the world, and in your arms let me land"
The sudden 'I' there doesn't flow nicely and breaks the parallelism.
Get back to me and tell me what you think of that.
Lots of love,
Nad
i like your comment so much ba2a and i appreciate it a lot :D
ReplyDeletethanks ya nada :)