This one is written for one of my friends whom I think of as a very strong woman.
You were man enough to set your rules
You were man enough to be in control
You were man enough to squash me out of existence,
To maintain your dominating role
You were man enough to say “I am the one and only”
But deep inside, you had nothing manly
You were man enough to say “None will give you love but me”
And diminish all my hopes in finding new love
You said I can’t live without you
You said I can’t get a life
I am not sorry to surprise you
That you have known nothing of my abilities
I have a life,
But you were man enough to try getting me out of it
I have a life,
But you were persistent enough to break me whenever I said I existed
I have a life,
A life that scared you so much that you wanted to eradicate it
Even before it grew some roots
I am not sorry to surprise you
I have a life
I am strong enough
Maybe even stronger than you
I am strong enough
Maybe even stronger than you
And about manhood, a lesson I shall teach you
Being a man is being tender, compassionate and of assistance to your love
In this sense I am not sorry to surprise you
Perhaps I was more of a man than you were
I had to read this piece a couple of times before I could really grasp what it meant and who the speaker is.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting but I like your other pieces more.
Remove the 'a' from "you were a man enough" and "And diminish all my hopes in a new love" - I like the word diminish though I why not use 'annihilate' (you've already used 'eradicate' a few lines after that). Also, replace 'in' with 'of' or add 'in finding'.
Overall: interesting but since I read the prose piece first, I can't get it out of my head so nothing compares ;)
lol, as for the editing, i'll be doing it but not now (exams and all) and i am satisfied that you liked one of the two :D
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